Thursday, January 12th, 2017

Thursday, January 12th, 2017 02:59 am

Minimal Life Update

panicnhysteria: (matt)

I was going through my abandoned FF Inbox and I was amazed at how much more confident I was!!
I found messages from 2012 with me acting as a virtual social butterfly, all smiles and politeness and talking about myself to strangers, thanking them for a review or discussing a chapter and even asking for translation permissions.
I couldn't believe that used to be me. I'm always saying "I've always been shy and I was born like that so I cannot change it" and I thought I was getting better but apparently not.
Nowadays I'm terrified of "speaking up" online in other people's bussiness. Even the friendliest of posts inviting people to just comment make me nervous. I know people in LJ that I'd really like to talk with because I find them interesting or they seem to be great and I don't do anything. I've read people hating their loneliness or asking for anyone to be there for them and I want to do something but my hands freeze up at the thought and I hate it.
If my real life social skills have not improved and my virtual social skills have worsened, what can be the reason? I thought so many years meeting people through the internet would have increased my online confidence xD it doesnt make any sense



panicnhysteria: (Default)

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