Monday, July 18th, 2016 01:01 am

[sticky entry] Sticky: Intro post

panicnhysteria: (Default)

In the hope of making friends (friends are always welcome!) and stop scaring people away, here is an introduction post to whatever weirdness you may find ahead. I'm awkward writing even to myself so I apologize in advance for any cringe worthy stuff you may be reading right now.

My name is Elena, I'm 20 years old, I'm from Mexico and I'm currently studying to become an English teacher. Yeah, that's about it, really. I have way too many likes and dislikes to write them here but most of the likes include Muse, breathtaking songs, playing instruments and shipping people. 

All entries are public since I don’t have a single discreet bone in my body.
I tend to talk a lot about my private live including relationships, stressful things in life and such, that can be found (or avoided) in the rant tag.

On the issue of...
I’ve started a more serious (ish?) line of writing! Something similar to essays (more like a mix between what I think is an essay and an article of opinion) to practice my writing and to keep my mind from rotting. Here I write about my thoughts on various issues (hence the tag) that may be useful or at least a simple way to waste your time and/or discuss with me.

Fic List (If you may call it that way, I haven’t written a lot but I'll put it under a cut anyway to be cool)

Fics here! )



panicnhysteria: (Default)
Hello again! 

So, against my stage fright, I have decided to participate in yet another singing contest (I offered and no one forced/convinced me so I consider this a great step forwards to stop being so self conscious when I am in front of other people). Rules are the usual: Songs in Spanish are preferred, the song length should not be more than 4 minutes, etc. 

I had some strong song options when I remembered a song I really love: My Reflection, from Mulan OST. This song carries a great meaning to me, since I related so much to it when I felt I wouldn't ever be enough to make my parents proud and when I felt I had no identity whatsoever. I know I can sing this song with all the emotion it needs and deserves. 

However, the song only lasts 2-ish minutes, and there are only 10 lines to be sung. I feel like I would have to sing like I've never dared to if I want to even think about passing to the next round, and I fear singing 10 lines might be a direct pass to "better try next year". What do you think? 
Wednesday, August 16th, 2017 05:48 pm

Anyone from Australia?

panicnhysteria: (Default)
 Heh, hi again. I went back to school and I'm already wishing I was resting 24/7 again. I had a quick question! 

Is anyone here from Australia? This semester, I'm taking a class called "Culture of English-speaking Countries", and our first assignment, due next Friday, is to present the basic facts about a country.

My team's country is, you've guessed it, Australia.

I'm in charge of finding out about Australia's government, but I don't trust what the internet tells me. The Australian Government's official site (?) seems pretty good, to be honest. Full of information available for everyone, and there is this thing called myGov (which I won't get into since I'm guessing this is for Australian citizens only...) but it gives me the impression that from there you can access certain government services. Wikipedia says "The Government of the Commonwealth of Australia is a federal, parlamentary, constitutional monarchy", which I will have to look into.

Besides this, I need to figure out who are the most important political figures nowadays. So... I could trust the internet and get my information from there, but if by any chance there is a direct source around here, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! 
Monday, June 5th, 2017 07:51 pm

Quick question!

panicnhysteria: (colors)
 Hi! Quick question: My crush's birthday is on the 25th and I wanted to get her something. The thing is I have no idea of what would be a nice present. She is quite simple like... the things she likes and her hobbies are reduced to reading, listening to music and procastinating.

I think all of our friends will make a little get together so that's like... our general "gift" but I want to give her something else. Any suggestions?
Thursday, June 1st, 2017 01:08 am

The Next Step

panicnhysteria: (Default)
Title:  The Next Step
Author[personal profile] panicnhysteria 
Pairing: None
Rating: T
Summary: Now that you have the music, you need the ideal video to promote it, right? AKA How the original Uno video was recorded.
Disclaimer: I do not own Muse, and 98% of the things written here come from theories, not reality
Author’s note: For the [community profile] stellarclouds Challenge #17: Dreams. I took a weird approach of "dream", but since the challenge inspired me to write this, it fits. It was May when I finished writing it, even if I'm posting it a little late. I hope you like it!:) 

What is life without taking risks? )
Tuesday, May 30th, 2017 10:01 pm

Week developments

panicnhysteria: (Default)
Hi! Yet again, no update. I really am not true to my word, right? But this week (from the 23rd to the 30th) has been full of events and, as usual, I shall express all of it here, so be prepared.

Tuesday, May 23rd )~

Wednesday, May 24th )


Thursday, May 25th )

Friday, May 26th )


Saturday, May 27th )


Sunday, May 28th )


Monday, May 29th )Continue here... )


Tuesday, May 30th )
Thursday, May 25th, 2017 09:44 pm

My first Belldom

panicnhysteria: (Default)
 I'm preparing my final project and haven't been able to post what I had planned! That's still in my things to finish. However, today I found something and thought it would be nice to share what I thought about it. 

Read more... )
Sunday, May 7th, 2017 03:18 am

It was going so well

panicnhysteria: (Default)
I hoped my next entry would be a fic or the anecdotes of the oh so awesome three day trip to another city but I just had an anxiety attack? I won't assume I know what even happened, but I imagine that's what happened. 

Read more... )
panicnhysteria: (Default)
Title: Sympathy for the Devil
Pairing: Frostiron
Rating: PG-13
NOTE: Spoilers for the last Thor, Avengers and Captain America movies. 
Summary: Tony's meeting is interrupted by the presence of a certainly-not-dead God of Mischief.Loki has come looking for an alliance with Midgard's mightiest heroes. Too bad the Avenger are not as they used to be and Loki has a lot of catching up to do.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from MCU. The plot and theorizing is mine but that's it. 
Author’s note: Thanks to [personal profile] nuraicha  for helping me with this story (and for  showing me the beautiful gif that inspired this. You're the best! I hope you enjoy this :) Also! I posted this on AO3 earlier and I already received a few comments regarding some plot holes that will mostly be addressed later. Anyway, any feedback regarding it is welcome :) Bear in mind this was supposed to be the shortest thing ever. Ha!

Read more... )
panicnhysteria: (Default)
Another not-great post *sigh*
I think I might have hurt my mum but I'm so confused that I'm not sure so I don't know what to do. 
So, my family is Catholic, all of us. At the beginning of the year my mum started taking us every Sunday to mass because she felt we had been away from God too long (especially my little brothers since they don't even know what to do in mass). So we started going and we actually enjoyed it (I always did, I just didn't have the means to go to church on my own).
One day, my mum asks me if I would help a friend of hers in their group of Christian mudic during an event (I mentioned this on another post, I think). So I said yes to help, the event passed and my mum has insisted and managed to get me to play during Christian services like 5 times. 
I have expressed that I want to attend mass in our Catholic church and she ignored me. So in Sundays it's either going with her to the Christian service or staying home while she attends the service without us (which I consider unfair because neither my brothers nor I can leave to mass on our own).
So my mum decided we would split our Sundays between the services and mass and I agreed because it's better than nothing at all. I told my dad about this agreement and I mentioned if I hadn't agreed she would leave us home to go to the services every week and my dad said we didn't have to do as she said, that he could take us to mass in the afternoon. And I told him "we'll see" because I wanted to discuss the issue with my mum. 
Turns out she overheard our conversation and has been ignoring me since this happened: 
"Hey mum"
"Mum, are you okay? What's wrong?" 
"Nothing, I'm okay." 
"Why are you not talking to me, then? Did something happen?" 
"I just heard what you said to your dad." 
"What did I say?" 
"Nothing. I'm telling you nothing happened".
And she hasn't even glanced at me after that. Now, I guess I said something that hurt her? But I thought I was talking alone to my dad and I could apologize but I really meant what I said. If I apologize or say I didn't mean it, she'll feel free to keep taking us to the services and I don't feel comfortable there. So... Do I wait or do I apologize? What am I supposed to do in this situation? 
panicnhysteria: (Default)
I had planned on making my first post on DW meaningful? But I just sang "Son of Man" with my crush line by line via text and I feel sooo silly/happy that she knows the lyrics of Disney songs as well as I do. This is a sign we are made for each other, right? xD
Oh, well... On another note, more fics to come on May, let's return to MS with a bang!
Monday, April 3rd, 2017 02:19 am

Heart's Desire

panicnhysteria: (matt)
Title: Heart's Desire
Author: [ profile] panicnhysteria
Pairing: FrostIron
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None. Lots of fluff and a bit of swearing, I guess
Summary: Everyone is born with their soulmate's name on their wrist. Finding them was nevertheless not that easy. Tony never even bothered registering in the first place, the name on his wrist was an indecipherable mess. Loki on the other hand was obsessed with looking for his soulmate, the one person who would accept, respect and love him for sure, just like he always longed for.
Feedback: Always welcomed and appreciated.
Disclaimer: I do not own MCU, I'm just playing with some characters.
Author's note: FrostIron is my most recent and well-loved favorite ship. I adventured into writing it as part of a "event"? I felt challenged but I'm happy with the final result. There is art for this one, made by fightacrosstheconstellation, you can find it here if you're interested.

Show me your wrist )
Sunday, April 2nd, 2017 03:57 am

Thesis Stuff

panicnhysteria: (matt)

Heya. Again, I have a lot of time and a high enough average grade that I don't need to worry about writing thesis yet (I'm halfway through my BA) but I have found a new passion and I think I need help developing this idea.

So, suddenly I've decided I would love to write something regarding English Language Learning or Teaching and... Inclusive Education.

The good/bad news is that both topics are HUGE so as far as I know I need to get a lot more specific with the topic. Regarding EL learning/teaching I would love to do:
a) Something where I could take advantage of my online persona (by this I mean maybe taking on subjects from other countries to make my thesis about a international issue, which would be awesome)
b) Something about the initial process of learning English as a Foreign/Second Language. As new learners, students often face classroom anxiety, change in their self-concept and other problems that are often filed away as ineptitude or a problematic behaviour.

Now, since Inclusive education involves literally every learner with Specific Educational Needs, I would need to specify just on one area OR treat SEN as a whole (but I'm afraid this might not be accepted), so I am specially interested in researching about the process of learning on blind or deaf students. I am also interested on students with speech disabilities but I feel like I would go nuts trying to find a neurolinguistic point of view regarding how they learn the language, but it is an option anyway.

I have 2-3 years before I actually have to worry about this, but if you have any ideas about how these two aspects can be linked to make one awesome (and most important, one socially relevant) thesis topic, let me know!

NOTE: If I ended up using an offensive or inappropriate term, I apologize. The barriers of language and the process of translation often makes way to misunderstandings (just yesterday I witnessed a Q&A session with some experts about the use of the words "handicapped", "disability" and "different abilites" and the experts themselves had completeƱy different points of view). So, if I made any mistake like that, let me know so I can use the right vocabulary

Friday, March 31st, 2017 07:22 pm

Movie Tag Thingy

panicnhysteria: (Default)
I just wanted to post it. It seems terribly funny even if there aren't answers to give from me. Let's see how you do! Specially if you guess a quote because you like the movie, you'll become my favorite people in the world.
1. Pick 10 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to the IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. No Googling/using IMDb search functions!
Quotes under the cut! )
Thursday, March 30th, 2017 05:42 pm

(no subject)

panicnhysteria: (matt)

I risked reading this on an English Teaching Congress, I do not regret it sjfkskf it was short but intense!! I really liked it :) Well done!

panicnhysteria: (matt)

I think my mum is having emotional affairs with one and maybe two men. there is this man she always greets with hugs and kisses to the cheek, even in front of me. Today I saw him because he needed my help playing the bass in some event. He approaches and asks if I'm available next Sunday, all the while his hand grabbing my mother's hip/waist/lower back area. needless to say, my mother said yes for me but I feel so bad and all kind of negative thoughts right now.

i would be all for supporting my mothers happiness but I do not condone cheating and my parents are still together apparently ok and mum says this guy is her best friend but god damnit i have a bad feeling about all this. i know it might not be my bussiness but i feel betrayed and angry that she is flaunting this on my face. knowing im not going to confront her about it because fuck Im the daughter its not my place to do it.

Monday, February 13th, 2017 03:09 am


panicnhysteria: (matt)

WARNING: I'm about to write great freaked out things about a Latin American movie that I strongly suggest everyone should watch but in my writing I won't avoid spoilersso... Please, pleasewatch Undertow (Contracorriente in Spanish) it's awesome. If you're not planning on watching it then go ahead


Wednesday, February 8th, 2017 10:01 pm


panicnhysteria: (matt)
As it is well known, Valentine's Day is approaching soon! Normally I ignore said fact but somehow my current crush is making me want to do something for her. The problem is... I'm not ready for her to know about my feelings, so I was planning on going through the secret admirer plan. Now I wonder... is it a good idea?
Right now I can only see advantages, since I'll know what she likes so it won't be bad for her, also, she's been so busy with school that I think this could brighten her day. If she likes it, I'd enjoy seeing her happy knowing I did that. If she doesn't, then I'd at least know that I tried... I can't do nothing else, my own mind is avoiding it, so... What are your thoughts? Other suggestions are well received :)
panicnhysteria: (matt)

I'm dying for this year's Museslash Awards, but I haven't checked the community so maybe it already started and I didn't notice. Heh

I love listening to Panic Station at full volume and feel every hit of the snare drum against my ears. Even though the person sitting next to me on the bus surely can hear the drums too xD

Why is it that sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror I think I have cool curves and pretty eyes and sometimes I can't look past the marks on my skin, the permanent bags under my eyes and my wrecked hair? I'm all for feeling good with the way you look but it sucks that I'm not okay with my body image most of the time.

And... I've gone to church for the past two Sundays by my mother's request. so far it's been okay-ish but I fear the day they decide to talk about sinners or something bad. If they dare mention that homosexuality is "wrong" but God loves everyone with their faults, I swear I'll leave and I won't regret it. Some parts of religion are scary


panicnhysteria: (matt)

Was this the authority figure hiding the ugly truth? or was this a way to say that what only matters in life is the legacy you leave in the world? Either way, I love Diego and Frida and I'm glad I know more about the subject, they seem human now, not this perfect power couple in the world of Mexican painting that everyone sees on the outside.

Sorry for the annoying handwriting, by the way

Thursday, January 12th, 2017 02:59 am

Minimal Life Update

panicnhysteria: (matt)

I was going through my abandoned FF Inbox and I was amazed at how much more confident I was!!
I found messages from 2012 with me acting as a virtual social butterfly, all smiles and politeness and talking about myself to strangers, thanking them for a review or discussing a chapter and even asking for translation permissions.
I couldn't believe that used to be me. I'm always saying "I've always been shy and I was born like that so I cannot change it" and I thought I was getting better but apparently not.
Nowadays I'm terrified of "speaking up" online in other people's bussiness. Even the friendliest of posts inviting people to just comment make me nervous. I know people in LJ that I'd really like to talk with because I find them interesting or they seem to be great and I don't do anything. I've read people hating their loneliness or asking for anyone to be there for them and I want to do something but my hands freeze up at the thought and I hate it.
If my real life social skills have not improved and my virtual social skills have worsened, what can be the reason? I thought so many years meeting people through the internet would have increased my online confidence xD it doesnt make any sense



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