Life Update! (Again...?)

[panicnhysteria]

So, my scholarship is most probably lost, but it's still not something sure (I guess I was stressed enough that my mum has started saying "you know what? If you don't keep it, it's okay, let them do whatever they want, don't worry about it" and I've felt SO MUCH BETTER ever since. I feel like a bad person, because despite my efforts it feels like I'm giving away a great opportunity, but at the same time I feel relieved because, no matter how much I would get, to me nothing is worth being constantly stressed and worried about. At least in this case my mental well-being comes first.

Also, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but I've been playing percussions in a marching band (quite a challenge since there are basically NO marching bands in my city, we're like "the trend" right now?) and so far we've "performed" like ten times, of which two of them have been real parades (4 kilometers each time). And we were completely mediocre at it since we have never marched in our lives, but people liked us and we were never out of tune (out of breath, in pain but still working haha). I've made friends there which is quite cool, I don't use to do it but we all love music so we always have something to discuss, thankfully.

I finished my semester with an amazing 98 out of 100 (I guess it's equal to an A- or something? I don't really know) so I'm quite proud of myself, even if the struggle was too much sometimes. I came out to a total of 5 classmates and fortunately they were all supportive. I've been lucky enough so far that everyone who knows about my sexuality is completely okay with it. I hope it remains like that. The year is ending and I really don't have anything to complain about right now.

Comments

[tamarelmensdorp.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your scholarship, but you're right, it isn't worth it to be constantly stressed about. Besides, being stressed works very contra productive.

Great news about your 98 and your marching band experience. And I'm really happy that your coming out has been positive so far.

[panicnhysteria.livejournal.com]

Hi! You're right about stress being contra productive. It freaked me out a little to see that now that grades weren't that important, I started getting better! Almost ironic, if I think about it too much.
Thanks for commenting :)

[nuraicha.livejournal.com]

Good to see you again, hello Elena!

You've done the right thing, as what has to always matter the most is your mental health. We're told that the best marks are what we should be hoping to achieve, but always without great loses over them.

And congrats on the marching band! It sounds very funny :DD

[panicnhysteria.livejournal.com]

Hello again Irene!

The marching band IS very funny, even if most of the members are amateurs playing their instruments, I think we do a pretty decent job. Maybe we'll be cool enough to be recognized by the time I graduate or something.

I know what you mean, to have the best marks has been my main goal in life for so long that now that i'm finally "living a little" I feel like I'm so rebellious, only to find out that 19 year olds are actually that free but I just hadn't known!! Thanks for commenting :)